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The seasons of marriage

Autumn is upon us and we are enjoying changes of temperature (well summer is holding on a bit and I am ok with that), a new color palette to the landscape, and the pumpkin spice latte’s return to the Starbucks menu. I have always loved living in an area that experiences all of the seasons. There are wonderful things about each of them and it is nice to have some variety. Marriages also experience changes and seasons. How can you embrace those seasons and savor what you love about them? Whether you are newly married, new parents, parenting teens or empty nesters, you are growing and adapting to change as a couple. This can be challenging no matter what season you are in. Here are some helpful conversation starters and questions to help you navigate change and transitions in your marriage.

  • Take inventory often, have a conversation with your spouse about your needs as an individual and as a couple and how those needs have changed over time and why.

  • What values and life goals do you want to work on or change? This is expected to change over time as we grow and mature and as our roles and needs change. It is okay to have different opinions, as long as you can find ways to support one another. It is also unrealistic to expect your spouse to remain the person they were when you met them.

  • Ask your spouse, “What is one thing you need from me now that you may not have needed from me before?”

  • It is also unrealistic to think we will travel through marriage and not have fluctuations and changes in our sexual desires. Be open about your sexual needs and desires. Sex shouldn’t be a taboo subject with your spouse. Set up good habits to talk about sex. Be open to feedback. Sex is what sets marriage apart from all other relationships. Celebrate that. Enjoy it.

  • Reflect together on how you have grown as a couple or are you feeling stuck? If you are feeling stuck in a perpetual cycle of unhealthy patterns and behaviors, what are some reasons for that? Can you each recognize and accept what you are bringing to the table that is unhelpful?

If you are feeling stuck or having difficulty navigating change in your marriage, we are here to help. We can work with you to develop helpful tools in removing the barriers that are keeping you from moving forward. At Sanctuary Christian Counseling, we help grieving individuals, distressed teens and couples in conflict find peace, solutions and connection.

Sanctuary Christian Counseling

9974 Molly Pitcher Highway, Suite 4

Shippensburg, PA 17257


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