I was taken aback recently when I looked at my calendar (something I do seemingly hundreds of times a day, being someone who regularly schedules people for daily slots. Tomorrow, Thursday, March 29, would be my mother's 100th birthday. It's sad she's not alive to see it. Nevertheless, that got me thinking, and, to be honest, traveling down Memory Lane. My mother was amazing, and far ahead of her time. Before I was even born she began a small business, Wee Cottage Antiques, in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. I was actually nearly born there -- my mother wanted to stay at the shore as long as possible, despite being over nine months pregnant with me. They barely made it back to Myerstown, Pennsylvan
Years ago, when I was beginning my speaking career, I developed several talks I call the “hand talks.” Basically, I took five key concepts and used my hand to tick them off as I spoke. They were great because not only could I remember them without notes for the most part, my audience could remember them, too. There was only one tiny problem. You may have already thought of it. When I got to my middle finger, I had to develop a strategy so I wasn’t offending part of the audience. A flaw in my plan. Eventually I learned to hold up THREE fingers when I got to that part, and everyone seemed to understand. Crisis averted. One of the “hand talks” was on marriage … which makes sense since I was, an
Recently, my partner was talking to me about his day and I was distracted by the sound of an email notification on my phone. I didn't realize my gaze shifting to my phone, as I quickly tried to read the notification before it disappeared. When I looked up, I could tell that he was less than amused with the direction of my attention. This caused a discussion about the message I was conveying to him…. that I did not value what he was sharing and that my email was more important to me than him sharing his feelings about his day. I apologized and felt bad for sending him the message that I was indifferent to his feelings and that I did not make him feel valued in that moment. One of the most imp
My husband and I have been really impressed by our semi-Paleo diet, Whole 30. We did 30 days of it late last spring, then several times since, and have pretty much decided that it will be our permanent way of eating. So no dairy. No grains. No sugar. No legumes. No alcohol. At least most of the time. It’s been a good ride. I have some arthritis issues that disappear about 15 days into our 30 day plan. Not eating dairy, alcohol and grains is easy for me. Sugar isn’t that bad. Legumes are tough. This isn’t what I thought would be hard when we first did it last year. I thought for sure I’d struggle with sugar or grain. I didn’t even think about legumes. And I still wouldn’t if peanut butter was
None of us wants to be selfish. Well, most of us most of the time anyway. And that’s a good thing for our life together. The problem is, when I’m talking to clients about self-care—simple things like taking time for themselves, doing something they want to do, or even just expressing a want or a need—I hear, “But isn’t that selfish?” We all know selfish people, those whose universe centers on them and stops at the end of their nose. (Sometimes it’s a character flaw, sometimes it’s a more complex problem involving trauma or a mental illness.) And let’s face it, our culture encourages a me first, selfish attitude which really hasn’t gotten us far. But when we constantly put others wants and ne
