I love science fiction and fantasy, and I believe I’ve already said what a book lover I am. That being said, I’m currently reading a fantasy book in which there are invisible people.
What a concept.
I was thinking about this … in the book, the people are there, but everyone over the age of seven conspires not to see them, thus perpetuating the myth that they are not there at all. Children and babies see them, but older kids and adults pretend the people don’t exist.
There are people in our culture like that, too. And plenty of people perpetuating the myth that they are invisible.
Day after day, someone sits in front of me in my therapy office and tells me how insignificant they feel. How they feel too little. Or too much. Unworthy. Unnoticed. Unloved.
They often say they feel invisible.
Often feeling invisible is the result of childhood trauma – growing up in a family that is critical, abusive or chaotic can cause permanent self-esteem issues for children unfortunate enough to be influenced by the negative attitudes. Sometimes such deep-seated scars are reinforced in adulthood when it seems nothing goes right, and the same, self-deprecating patterns become entrenched and happen over and over again.
Sometimes it’s an intimate partner, or even children, who cause the trauma with words and actions. It could be friends, even. Bullies. Co-workers. Almost anyone, in fact.
Pretty soon, individuals begin to feel invisible.
Once you’re invisible, it seems very unimportant whether you keep trying or not. It seems futile to continue to put your best foot forward if no one sees. If you are too much, you stress about that, and at the same time, that you are too little. If you feel unworthy, it’s very hard to feel good about yourself.
It becomes a circular pattern I often call the hamster wheel or the spin cycle. And it’s extremely hard to eradicate on your own.
In truth, your worth does not depend on what anyone – even a parent or a spouse says about you, or even what others have told you all your life. Your value is not in what you do or who your family is, or the significance of your achievements. Your worth is not based on what others think, and is not devalued by their negativity.
It is far above that.
“For He chose us in Hi before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will.” (Ephesians 1:4-6)
“For you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession …” (1 Peter 2:9)
You are not your past mistakes, your past sins. You have been redeemed and loved by the God of the universe, Who made you in His image, and loves you dearly. God understands what you’re struggling with, and isn’t frustrated or upset with you. He hasn’t abandoned you, and His love has nothing to do with your performance.
To God, you are anything but invisible.
If you struggle with these concepts or feel unworthy, too much, or too little, we are here to help. Consider giving us a call. We delight in helping you live your best life.
Sanctuary Christian Counseling LLC
9974 Molly Pitcher Highway, Suite 4
Shippensburg, PA 17257