Taking the plunge
So you’ve done it. You’ve taken the plunge into those commitment waters. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
For many, the waters stay relatively comfortable – temps change a little, might get a little choppy at times, currents change, and so on – but you take Dory’s famous advice and “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…What do we do? We swim!” (My apologies to those of you that will now have that voice stuck in your head.)
But for some, there’s sharks. Or hurricanes. Icebergs. Shipwreck. Riptide. Serious problems that make it seem impossible to keep swimming and keep your head above water in the relationship.
When you notice fins or storm clouds, might be time to take another plunge. Consider therapy.
We find all too often that couples wait until things are really bad before calling a pastor, a therapist, someone to be that life buoy. Sometimes so bad that the relationship has drowned and cannot be resuscitated.
We hate that. As much if not more than our clients. We’re helpers. We believe in people and relationships and in possibilities for growth and healing. We’re your cheerleaders, your life raft, your hope-holder when you can’t hold it for yourselves.
We know that sometimes getting out of hot water is harder than getting in. Actually, pretty much always. Growth and healing require taking responsibility for your own stuff, some humility, some vulnerability. And definitely some grit. And the realization that you can’t change your partner, only yourself or maybe the situation. There’re also cultural currents that flow toward fix it yourself, don’t ask for help, needing therapy implies huge problems or weakness. Therapy requires some trust, trust that we have your best interests at heart, that we can hear your pain and handle your struggles in an open and nonjudgmental way.
We have tools and a space to help you work through smaller issues before they become monsters. Or maybe think of therapy as a course of swimming lessons – it can give you a little more confidence and skill to handle turbulent waters. Remember, you’re not alone. Lots of couples before and after you will be taking the plunge. Which means they too have needed swimming lessons.
We are more than willing to chat with you if you’re not sure how therapy can help, or if you’re not sure about the expense, or any other reason that taking the plunge seems scary.
It might look intimidating, but come on in. The water’s fine.