Covid Grief, take 2
“I feel like tears are always close to the surface right now”
As therapists, helping people through grief has always been what we’re about, so when a client said that … well, we knew what they were experiencing.
In fact, at Sanctuary Christian Counseling, it’s a prime directive for who we are. We help grieving individuals, distressed kids and teens and couples in conflict find peace, solutions and connection. That is who we are. In fact, our partner Andrea Geesaman, LPC is a grief specialist.
And none of us has ever seen anything like this.
There is grief all around, folks, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
I know I’ve written about COVID grief before, but I think there
are some things I haven’t said, like how pervasive it is. How everyone is bound to feel some of it. How it sneaks up on you, and before you know it, you are sitting there with tears running down your face.
Sometimes you don’t even know why you’re grieving.
You may be a person who thinks COVID is a hoax … nothing more than the ‘flu. You may be someone who takes it so seriously that you’ve mostly quarantined for a year. Or you may be somewhere in between. It really doesn’t matter, because you will feel this grief. Sooner or later, there is a personal grief cost to this pandemic that will likely be paid out for years to come.
We all have simply lost too much. We have all lost time – precious time. Someone once said to me that they were not going to pay any attention to the pandemic because they were older and they didn’t want to lose the little time they had left. Sadly, that person lost ALL the time they had left when they died of COVID. All of us have lost the time that we’ve had to abstain from activities we love – connections, travel, even just day-to-day interactions. 2020 and probably some of 2021 are years we’ve lost, and which we will not get back. That’s just sad.
Too many of us have lost loved ones to COVID.
With well over 500,000 deaths in the U.S. alone, it’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t have a friend or family member who has died. Even for the few who know no one, the staggering loss of 500,000 + Americans leaves us reeling. That’s a huge amount of people. An enormous amount. The size of Atlanta, GA. 100,000 more people than those who died in WWII. It’s overwhelming. Even if you spend no time thinking about this, from time to time the sheer weight of it gets to everyone.
Many have lost connections. (Many have gained connection, too, but that’s the topic for a later blog). It’s been horribly hard for people not to be able to hug loved ones, friends, even co-workers. To not cuddle grandchildren or nieces and nephews. To limit face-to-face interactions in the workplace. All of this dis-connection has a price to pay. The price is grief.
Many others have lost a sense of normalcy. This pandemic – and the resultant shutdowns and quarantines – have given us a sense of things being wildly out of whack in our world. For many, nothing feels normal anymore, and even as some work to get back to normal, normal has changed. And even trying to work our ways back there seem difficult and scary. Imagine the person who has been strictly quarantined and what they will feel like walking into a large gathering … overwhelming. And frightening.
This, too, is grief.
The grief of our times is pervasive, and distressing. To some degree, we all experience it. When you find yourself lost in it, know you are not alone, and that help is out there.
If you are struggling, we can help. We are experts in dealing with grief issues, even COVID grief. Give us a shout out.
For more information about me, check out my page on the Sanctuary website.
We help GRIEVING INDIVIDUALS, distressed kids and teens and couples in conflict find peace, solutions and connection.
Sanctuary Christian Counseling
9974 Molly Pitcher Highway, Suite 4 and online
Shippensburg, PA 17257